Honesty...is it always the best policy?

As I sit here, in the midst of the great job search, I wonder - is honesty really the best policy all the time? I do believe it's important to be honest, with yourself and the people you love. There are always the exceptions, which usually come in the form of "No, you don't look like a sausage about to bust out of its casing in those jean." That's something I'd considered to be the "little white" lie, which is okay when used sparingly. For instance, every once in a while before going out, I'll ask Joe "Does this look okay?" And he's sweet enough to spare my feelings by saying it does. However, upon walking out of the bedroom (after asking Joe this routine question), I catch something out of the corner of my eye that makes me stop. Yes, that would be the big, purple heffalump sitting in the corner - the silent acknowledgment which represents the almost 30lbs I've packed in the last 4 years. And while we both know I would look much better if the 30 lbs (and purple heffalump representation of the weight) were gone, Joe is kind (and wise) enough to tell the little white lie to prevent me from spiraling down into a fit of self loathing and depression. Pretty smart, isn't he?

There are other instances in which I find it perfectly acceptable to fib here and there. For instance, when you've just started a new job and you're new co-workers ask how you like it. if you don't (like the job), then it's probably not the best idea to say so. I find that it's okay to say "Oh, I like it." I suspect that it's most likely not going to go over well with your new boss if he or she hears that you hate the job. Especially, if you have a probationary period.

On a similar note, wouldn't it be refreshing to know the absolute truth about a job before applying for? And in return, you could be 100% truthful about what exactly you're looking for and what you're typical job performance is? For instance, this is a job posting I found online:
We are seeking an experienced individual for the position of Administrative Assistant! Duties will include greeting clients, answering incoming phone calls, preparing correspondence documents and reports, filing and managing administrative records, as well as scheduling appointments and meetings, along with various duties as needed.
Obviously, this is written in code to attract possible candidates -much like using an older picture of yourself for an online dating profile. You know, the picture that shows your thinner, tanner self back when you had hair? That one. And why does one do this? To attract more ladies or gents. When you think about it, it's really the same as job postings, right? Based on this theory, the aforementioned job ad, if written 100% truthfully, would say something like this:
We're seeking an experienced individual for the position of Administrative Assistant. Duties will include those listed and more, because really, we're looking for someone to be Office Bitch. Whatever needs to be done, will get thrown to you to do because the supervisor is too lazy to actually do his/her job. You will be expected to answer phones, fix random office equipment, order supplies and deal with a perpetually lazy and cranky boss. Must be good at taking lots of sh!t and doing so with a smile on your face, as you'll be doing the work for two jobs, but getting paid a barely livable wage. Don't expect any raises. Additionally, should you encounter any irate customers, it will be your job to kiss their @ss until they're happy, even if you had nothing to do with why they're p!ssed in the first place. After all, the customer is always right (and since you'll be office b!tch, this is part of your job description). Please email resumes and cover letters of interest to iwanttobeyourofficebitch@ficticouscompany.com.

Okay, so we've got the white lie and truthful job descriptions out of the way. Now it's time for part 2 - replying to the job posting. For the white lie version, use a standard cover letter and resume. Try to schmooz as much as possible (ie: experience, training, college, etc...) so the hiring company will want to bring you in for an interview and hopefully offer you this oh-so-wonderful job. May the best @ss kisser win.

However, sticking with this whole "100% honest" policy, let's explore what the reply would be, should a person respond to the no-holds-barred ad. I suspect the response would be something like this:
I'm a hardworking, educated and responsible person. I'm looking for a job that I like and one that will allow me to grow with the company, without having to sacrifice my personal dignity. I expect to have an honest workload (aka: one person's workload); I don't want to always be picking up the workload of lazy co-workers and supervisors. That sh!t's not happening. I will be respectful to others, as long as I am treated with respect. I will try to assist any annoyed or irate customers to the best of my ability, within reason, but will not stand there, get belittled (by anyone) and just take it with a smile on my face. Hell no. Additionally, there will be days when I'm super motivated and will come in early or stay late - even offer to help others, should they need it. However, there will also be days when I don't feel like doing sh!t. On those days, you can expect the following from my schedule on those days: 25% of the time spent drinking coffee, 25% messing around on the Internet and the remaining 50% spent simultaneously avoiding my supervisor and trying to find ways to look busy. And on those days, I will be out of here at exactly 5:00 so don't even consider asking me to stay late. And last but not least - pay. I am hardworking, can handle many tasks and expect a fair and competitive wage. Like you, I've got bills that need to be paid. Don't think I'm going to work for $25k per year. If you think for one second that's a fair wage for this job, then you might as well print this cover letter, take out your little baggie of weed and roll a fat joint because you're clearly smoking something. However, if you're still interested after taking all this into consideration, I can be reached at 555-555-5555 to set up an interview at your earliest convenience.

I don't know about you, but I'd much rather cut through all the phone BS and have the truthful job description! That way, at least I'd know what I'd be walking into and decide from there it was something worth pursuing. Unfortunately, that's not how it really works, so until then I'll just have to continue on with the charade. I'll put on that fake smile I've perfected over the years and make the best of my current job until I find something that makes me truly happy and puts an honest smile on my face.

Favorite Quote for today: "Nothing is impossible. The word itself says I'm possible!" - Audry Hepburn