This, That and the Other

A few random things that have been on my mind lately…

1. I hate birds. Our landlord feeds them, so they’re always around. And whose car do they crap on? Ours. I have to wash it every week because of the amount of bird dookie that accumulates. Seriously birds, I know what you eat. Why must you poop all over the windshield to give me an “insider’s look” at your diet? Gross.

2. Bugs. Actually, bugs are number one on my list because I find them in the house all the time. I’ve come to fear nighttime, not because of monsters, per se, but because of some of the monstrous roaches I’ve seen in the short 7 months I’ve lived here (although not all in the house). I don’t know if it’s because I’ve recently put up roach and ant traps so they come around for the bait, but I do not particularly like flipping on the light switch and seeing 3 dime size bugs scurrying around on the kitchen counter. I’m going to have to be the roach/bug catcher version of Dog the Bounty Hunter (perhaps my name shall be…”B!tch with the can of Raid” the Bug Hunter). He gets all his black leather gear on, belt with cans of pepper spray and handcuff earrings securely fastened so they don’t fall as he’s chasing a bond jumper. I am going to have to get a holster to put my can of Raid in, secure it tightly to the one belt I brought here and wear around the house at night. It will look extra sexy with my pjs. Oh, and I’ll have to visit Claire’s to pick up my very own handcuff earrings. No outfit is complete without handcuff earrings.

3. I’m very excited Sex and the City 2 is about to be released. In preparation, I’ve watched each of the 6 seasons and will be watching the first movie tonight when I get home from work. Starting the entire series over from the beginning is like seeing Joe for the first time after we’ve been separated for a while –I loved him the whole time we were apart, but I definitely fall in love all over when I get to see him again. Yes, I just compared Joe to Sex and the City. Normally, the list of things I love goes something like this: 1.cheese 2. Joe 3. Tyra Banks, but due to certain circumstances, the list has been reprioritized and is now: 1. Joe 2. Cheese 3. Sex and the City.

4. Eclipse. In t-minus 1 month, the 3rd movie in the Twilight series, Eclipse, will be released. Much like with SATC, as explained above, the same will happen with Eclipse. I plan to read each of the books over, watch both movies and then will be completely prepared and ready to watch Eclipse. Well, provided there are any available tickets the first month it’s out.

5. Hiking/climbing a hill is best done wearing appropriate attire. I’ve done the legwork, trust me on this one. It’s not the best idea to wear flip flops, a skirt, tank top and bikini when hiking in Hawaii. For some reason, I thought this an appropriate outfit while hiking the Pillbox. While I did make it to the top, without being blown over by a gust of wind or falling and breaking or scraping any part of my body, I realize now it probably wasn’t the greatest hiking attire. Granted, my intention was to go to the beach, not hiking, but for some reason when I found the trail, I felt the need to climb it wearing my beach outfit. Silly? Yes. Worth it? Definitely!

Dogs and Their Owners

There have been a few things that I’ve bared witness to since being in Hawaii. Some are funny, some ridiculous and some stupid. Even though I haven’t personally seen any of these things in other parts of the country (and I’ve driven across it 2 times), I’m sure that they occur. Hopefully, they just don’t occur as often as they do here.
There are many, many dog owners here in Hawaii. If I had my way, our dogs (okay, Joe’s dog and “my” dog, which isn’t really my dog at all but he’s in love with Joe’s dog – therefore, they’re a package deal) would be here right now. But the circumstances are such that they can’t be here yet. I’ve tried to convince Joe that we should buy another dog, but he hasn’t (yet) caved to my persuasion. Joe has Dixie, a little dog in a Rottweiler body. I say this because she likes to cuddle and sit with or on you, depending what her mood du jour is. She is super sweet most of the time, but every once in a while her b!tchy alpha female side roars its ugly head and then she gets in trouble. “My” dog – which is really Joe’s parents dog, but as I mentioned above - is in love with Dixie and so they’ve since become a package deal, much to Joe’s dismay. Wherever Dixie goes, Hershey goes. Hershey is a mischievous and scared English Springer Spaniel and probably the funniest dog I’ve ever met. Anyway, to get back on track here, we have dogs, and eventually they will be here with us.
There are two things that I’ve found to be true, in regard to dog owners here. The first is that everyone brings their dogs to the beach. Hard to believe, right? Most dogs I’ve seen here are little – the ones that can ride in a basket on a bicycle and most of them actually do. However, I was at the beach the other day and there was a beautiful and younger looking black lab that was tied up in the shade. The beach was busy and there were many other dogs. For some reason, the owner thought it a good idea to let this dog off the leash. I could see if there were few people on the beach, but the beach was freakin’ packed full of beer guzzling men, bronzed beauties and spf 60 slathered babies. Now, the minute this woman let her dog off the leash, it took off running like an escaped convict. The dog was sniffing and roaming and seemed to be a very nice dog, just excited to be let lose. The woman proceeded to scream and yell at the dog for about 30 minutes. Mind you, the dog was back and right by her side, but every once in a while would mosey around to meet and greet. And this woman kept doing her own thing was screaming at the top of her lungs at the dog. It was really quite embarrassing and annoying. I think instead of screaming at the dog, making her look like a crazy lady, a better option would have been to simply either put the dog back on its leash or left it at home. It’s not exactly rocket science.
Additionally, on the way to the beach, I saw something that I have NEVER seen and thought it couldn’t possibly be real. As you may imagine, scooters (or those fans of Scrubs – Sashas) are fairly popular out here. They are the ultimate beach town transportation – cheap on gas and easy to park. I was headed out to Lanikai by bike and I stopped at the top of the little hill to take in the beautiful scenery because it’s an amazing view of the ocean and Kailua Beach. However, something roadside caught my eye and so I turned. What did I see, you wonder? I saw a man driving a scooter with two red milk crates stacked one on top of the other. This may not seem all that interesting, except for the fact he had his dog carefully teetering on the scooter, within the confines of the two milk crates!! Call me crazy, but that didn’t seem like the safest transportation for a dog. And it was not a little dog – it was a yellow lab. A yellow lab, sitting precariously on the back of a scooter, held up by milk crates. His front paws dangled over the crates edge and were almost on the drivers back, which I have to say, cracked me up. It was dangerous but definitely funny. I suppose, it takes all kinds to make the world go ‘round.