Dear Chemo Fat Fairy,
You were kind enough to visit and bless me with an additional bit of weight when I was going through chemotherapy. Maybe it was because I shaved my head, therefore I weighed less and you wanted to compensate. Perhaps it was because you thought I was going to waste away to nothing as so many chemo patients do because of lack of appetite. However, because of your diligent effort, I was able to not only maintain my original weight, but also hold steady the additional 25 lbs you “blessed” me with. It’s since been over 4 years since I have finished chemotherapy and radiation,and have moved to Hawaii (no more cold winters = no winter weight) yet I cannot seem to shake the extra weight you oh-so-politely delivered to my waistline one morning.
In case you couldn’t tell, I am working very hard at dropping the additional pounds. You may not know it, but it’s not very easy to lose the weight, being 29 and in menopause. I can manage the hot flashes. I can even manage the crazy mood swings (thankfully, Joe can too). But,if you could swing our new apartment and pick up the extra 25 lbs you dropped off 4 years ago, I would greatly appreciate it. Not only would I appreciate it, but I would without question become your number 1 fan.
Thank you in advance for your consideration of this matter.
Your former, and hope to never again be, chemo patient.
Sara
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
My Newfound Knowledge
Well hello, hello! It’s been a busy few weeks for me and so I’m just now getting around to posting again…sorry!
Here are a few things I’ve learned in the past week: 1. Being so tired that your brain can’t comprehend even the most basic tasks is frustrating, and mildly entertaining. 2. Mariah Carey was in a movie I have never heard of…yes, she “starred” in a movie other than Precious or Glitter. It’s sad I know this. 3. The sun may not actually rise until after 7, but it’s completely light outside by 6:10am. And last but not least number 4. I really think I have an addition to the Twilight series. This may be equally, or even sadder, than my knowledge of number 2.
Last week all my siblings met me at the airport to wish me a fond farewell as I embarked on the long journey from New Hampshire back to Hawaii, the island where cars do not come equipped with blinkers in automobiles. Or, I should say they (my brothers, at least) met me at the airport to try and get me or my 140 lbs of luggage searched. While my checked luggage did get searched (damn those TSA for smashing my MAC eyeshadow to bits, all over the place! They couldn’t have chosen to smash the cheap makeup…), I didn’t know this until getting home the following day so they received no instant gratification. If anything, they received a crack shot as I bent over to remove my flip flops to put them in a bin to go through security…so HA! The jokes on them!
I had 2 layovers on my trip, one 4-hr in Boston and one 6-hr in Vegas. In case you’re wondering, 6 hours IS more than enough time to leave the airport, go to the strip, gamble/sightsee/drink/whatever your vice, and make it back to McCarren, go back through security and catch your plane. It’s not something I would do, but I did plan the logistics, just in case the airport caught fire and I had to make my escape. It’s always important to have a backup plan! However, I was immediately peeved upon arriving walking through the terminal for one reason. In the city that never sleeps (sorry NYC, I think Vegas deserves the title more), why does the airport close all but 2 restaurants/snack bars by 9pm? WTF?! The two choices: BK and unknown sandwich shop. Now, I tend to get really pissy and cranky when I’m hungry so when I saw those as my only two options, the bitch switch flipped and I was really unhappy. I went through BK’s line and then proceeded to go through the airport trying to find my next terminal (this did not help the crankasaurus factor). It was that token terminal way on the other side of where I was. I had to go outside, across the traffic, into the next building, down the elevator, across a parking lot and to a dodgy looking bus stop to wait for the shuttle that would take me to the correct terminal (I had hoped, anyway. I watch Criminal Minds and CSI – I know what kind of stuff can happen to an unsuspecting traveler!).
I was dropped off at terminal two just in time…to sit around for the next 5 hours. Because my flight wasn’t until 3am, I was told there wouldn’t be anyone at the ticket counter until 11p. I had no choice but to find a seat and wait it out. Sigh. However, the only seat I could find, next to an outlet (my computer battery lasts about as long as a blonde’s attention to one item in a Swarovski store) was on the floor, next to some random office. I set up camp and started watching Sex and the City to pass the time. It was uncomfortable and boring, but it’s what had to be done. I watched the ticket counter like a hawk watches its prey – intently. Just before 11p, it occurred to me that I had seen an entire row of kiosks when coming through the doors of the terminal. By this point, I was exhausted from traveling and the beer that was wearing off from my Boston layover didn’t help the energy factor. I packed up shop and moseyed the 20 or so feet to the kiosks. Because my luggage was checked all the way through, I only had the 2 carryon bags. I wondered “Did I really just sit on the dirty floor for 2hours when I could have been upstairs in a chair, at the gate??” I put my credit card in and wouldn’t you, I had no bags to check and the glorious machine popped out the golden ticket (well, boarding pass) I had been waiting 2 hours for. This is why traveling exhausted and alone can suck. In hindsight, it’s actually pretty funny. I guess Joe is right; my powers of observation could use some improvement.
As some of you may know, jet lag can be a bitch. Because I’d been on the east coast 3 weeks, my sleep schedule was all messed up. This would be the reason why I have knowledge of number 2 on the list above. I woke up at 4am a couple of days after returning and turned on the tv to see if there was anything good on that would keep me entertained. As I mindlessly flipped through the channels there was one that caught my eye…Wise Gals. I pressed “info”, read the brief description, pressed “enter” and hoped the movie wouldn’t be as cheesey as I had suspected. I typically enjoy Mira Sorvino’s movies and since she was in Wise Gals, I thought maybe there was a chance her role would redeem the film since Mariah Carey was also in it. I was wrong. It was like a really terrible accident – you know it’s coming, but you cannot peel your eyes away. This movie was that train wreck for me. The first 5 minutes into the film and the cheese was oozing from the television. Yet, I was compelled to continue watching it. It was almost 2 hours that I’ll never be able to get back, nor is it anything that can be unseen. My curiosity and HBO apparently got together, hatched a brilliant plan to rob innocent people of 2 hours of their lives and I became an unfortunate victim of such said scheme. Damn them!
Again, due to the time change and my body’s unwillingness to adjust to HST within a couple of days, I now know that even though the sun doesn’t actually rise until around the 7am mark, it is actually completely bright outside by 6:10a. For those who don’t know me well, I am not a morning person. I have always hated being up early – especially BEFORE the sun. (If the sun isn’t ready to be up, why should I??) However, it’s been almost a week and I’m still up super early (well, super early for me). Seriously, in what world did I allow myself to wake up at before 7 and immediately think “wow, it’s almost 7; I slept in today?” It’s just not right. Not for me.
Now, let’s move on to number 4 of the list. I should begin with “Hi, my name is Sara. I think I may be addicted to the Twilight series”, take a number and then find a seat. When the Twilight hoopla began, I was impervious to its powers. However, it was just a mere 4.5 month time span and I had seen both movies and read all four books. In fact, Breaking Dawn was my travel companion last week when flying home. It’s a massive book – 750 pages – and I read it in 3.5 days. It’s true that Stephanie Meyer writes in such a manner that the reader cannot put the material down, but jeez. I don’t think I’ve ever read a book that big in my entire life, let alone in such a short time! She’s a literary wizard! And to top it off, with this whole “yay, let’s wake up before dawn” schedule woke me up at 5am Sunday, to which I responded by turning on the tv and browsing through the options. And what did I find on Showtime? Yep, Twilight. I watched it in its entirety and then immediately turned the tv off. Unfortunately, when I turned Stevie back on (yes, I named our television Stevie TV), Twilight was on again. I had no choice –it had to be watched. Again. And so this would be why I came to believe I may actually have a Twilight series addiction. At least if Joe was here, he’d be outwardly disgusted in my choice to watch it, which would then lead me to probably turn the channel (only to find it again when he sleeps, watching it in secret…hehehe) to Tosh.0 or some other funny, yet mindless show. I need limits in order to keep my ridiculousness in check and Joe is very good at that. He is my ridiculousness wrangler, if you will, and with him being away all this ridiculousness is going buck nasty. Boy, he sure is going to have quite a job to do when he returns…
Here are a few things I’ve learned in the past week: 1. Being so tired that your brain can’t comprehend even the most basic tasks is frustrating, and mildly entertaining. 2. Mariah Carey was in a movie I have never heard of…yes, she “starred” in a movie other than Precious or Glitter. It’s sad I know this. 3. The sun may not actually rise until after 7, but it’s completely light outside by 6:10am. And last but not least number 4. I really think I have an addition to the Twilight series. This may be equally, or even sadder, than my knowledge of number 2.
Last week all my siblings met me at the airport to wish me a fond farewell as I embarked on the long journey from New Hampshire back to Hawaii, the island where cars do not come equipped with blinkers in automobiles. Or, I should say they (my brothers, at least) met me at the airport to try and get me or my 140 lbs of luggage searched. While my checked luggage did get searched (damn those TSA for smashing my MAC eyeshadow to bits, all over the place! They couldn’t have chosen to smash the cheap makeup…), I didn’t know this until getting home the following day so they received no instant gratification. If anything, they received a crack shot as I bent over to remove my flip flops to put them in a bin to go through security…so HA! The jokes on them!
I had 2 layovers on my trip, one 4-hr in Boston and one 6-hr in Vegas. In case you’re wondering, 6 hours IS more than enough time to leave the airport, go to the strip, gamble/sightsee/drink/whatever your vice, and make it back to McCarren, go back through security and catch your plane. It’s not something I would do, but I did plan the logistics, just in case the airport caught fire and I had to make my escape. It’s always important to have a backup plan! However, I was immediately peeved upon arriving walking through the terminal for one reason. In the city that never sleeps (sorry NYC, I think Vegas deserves the title more), why does the airport close all but 2 restaurants/snack bars by 9pm? WTF?! The two choices: BK and unknown sandwich shop. Now, I tend to get really pissy and cranky when I’m hungry so when I saw those as my only two options, the bitch switch flipped and I was really unhappy. I went through BK’s line and then proceeded to go through the airport trying to find my next terminal (this did not help the crankasaurus factor). It was that token terminal way on the other side of where I was. I had to go outside, across the traffic, into the next building, down the elevator, across a parking lot and to a dodgy looking bus stop to wait for the shuttle that would take me to the correct terminal (I had hoped, anyway. I watch Criminal Minds and CSI – I know what kind of stuff can happen to an unsuspecting traveler!).
I was dropped off at terminal two just in time…to sit around for the next 5 hours. Because my flight wasn’t until 3am, I was told there wouldn’t be anyone at the ticket counter until 11p. I had no choice but to find a seat and wait it out. Sigh. However, the only seat I could find, next to an outlet (my computer battery lasts about as long as a blonde’s attention to one item in a Swarovski store) was on the floor, next to some random office. I set up camp and started watching Sex and the City to pass the time. It was uncomfortable and boring, but it’s what had to be done. I watched the ticket counter like a hawk watches its prey – intently. Just before 11p, it occurred to me that I had seen an entire row of kiosks when coming through the doors of the terminal. By this point, I was exhausted from traveling and the beer that was wearing off from my Boston layover didn’t help the energy factor. I packed up shop and moseyed the 20 or so feet to the kiosks. Because my luggage was checked all the way through, I only had the 2 carryon bags. I wondered “Did I really just sit on the dirty floor for 2hours when I could have been upstairs in a chair, at the gate??” I put my credit card in and wouldn’t you, I had no bags to check and the glorious machine popped out the golden ticket (well, boarding pass) I had been waiting 2 hours for. This is why traveling exhausted and alone can suck. In hindsight, it’s actually pretty funny. I guess Joe is right; my powers of observation could use some improvement.
As some of you may know, jet lag can be a bitch. Because I’d been on the east coast 3 weeks, my sleep schedule was all messed up. This would be the reason why I have knowledge of number 2 on the list above. I woke up at 4am a couple of days after returning and turned on the tv to see if there was anything good on that would keep me entertained. As I mindlessly flipped through the channels there was one that caught my eye…Wise Gals. I pressed “info”, read the brief description, pressed “enter” and hoped the movie wouldn’t be as cheesey as I had suspected. I typically enjoy Mira Sorvino’s movies and since she was in Wise Gals, I thought maybe there was a chance her role would redeem the film since Mariah Carey was also in it. I was wrong. It was like a really terrible accident – you know it’s coming, but you cannot peel your eyes away. This movie was that train wreck for me. The first 5 minutes into the film and the cheese was oozing from the television. Yet, I was compelled to continue watching it. It was almost 2 hours that I’ll never be able to get back, nor is it anything that can be unseen. My curiosity and HBO apparently got together, hatched a brilliant plan to rob innocent people of 2 hours of their lives and I became an unfortunate victim of such said scheme. Damn them!
Again, due to the time change and my body’s unwillingness to adjust to HST within a couple of days, I now know that even though the sun doesn’t actually rise until around the 7am mark, it is actually completely bright outside by 6:10a. For those who don’t know me well, I am not a morning person. I have always hated being up early – especially BEFORE the sun. (If the sun isn’t ready to be up, why should I??) However, it’s been almost a week and I’m still up super early (well, super early for me). Seriously, in what world did I allow myself to wake up at before 7 and immediately think “wow, it’s almost 7; I slept in today?” It’s just not right. Not for me.
Now, let’s move on to number 4 of the list. I should begin with “Hi, my name is Sara. I think I may be addicted to the Twilight series”, take a number and then find a seat. When the Twilight hoopla began, I was impervious to its powers. However, it was just a mere 4.5 month time span and I had seen both movies and read all four books. In fact, Breaking Dawn was my travel companion last week when flying home. It’s a massive book – 750 pages – and I read it in 3.5 days. It’s true that Stephanie Meyer writes in such a manner that the reader cannot put the material down, but jeez. I don’t think I’ve ever read a book that big in my entire life, let alone in such a short time! She’s a literary wizard! And to top it off, with this whole “yay, let’s wake up before dawn” schedule woke me up at 5am Sunday, to which I responded by turning on the tv and browsing through the options. And what did I find on Showtime? Yep, Twilight. I watched it in its entirety and then immediately turned the tv off. Unfortunately, when I turned Stevie back on (yes, I named our television Stevie TV), Twilight was on again. I had no choice –it had to be watched. Again. And so this would be why I came to believe I may actually have a Twilight series addiction. At least if Joe was here, he’d be outwardly disgusted in my choice to watch it, which would then lead me to probably turn the channel (only to find it again when he sleeps, watching it in secret…hehehe) to Tosh.0 or some other funny, yet mindless show. I need limits in order to keep my ridiculousness in check and Joe is very good at that. He is my ridiculousness wrangler, if you will, and with him being away all this ridiculousness is going buck nasty. Boy, he sure is going to have quite a job to do when he returns…
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